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Hi everyone. *waves* I'm currently beta-less, so I'm very glad I… - Harry Potter Group Beta

About Hi everyone. *waves* I'm currently beta-less, so I'm very glad I…

Previous Entry Nov. 30th, 2004 @ 08:45 am Next Entry
Hi everyone. *waves* I'm currently beta-less, so I'm very glad I found this community. I've only recently started writing HP fics, (I usually dabble in other fandoms as well) and most of them are relatively short ficlets. I've yet to write a huge epic! ;)

Also - I'm bilingual. I was born in California, but moved to Switzerland when I was 10. I haven't had a proper English class since the 4th grade, so my grammar and spelling may need a bit of polishing up. I hope you guys can help me!

Anyhow. On to the fic. Feedback is very much appreciated!


Author: Me
Title: Working title is Refuge. May change it eventually.
Rating: PG
Pairing: unrequited HP/GW, hints of HP/DM
Summary: Playing a part, Ginny can fool almost everyone and everything.
Disclaimer: Anything you recognize belongs to JKR.
Warnings: um, none.


Ginny can remember a time when she loved Harry Potter so much that she felt it would kill her.

She would like to say that those times are long over and gone, but her escapades with Michael, Dean and Justin are all so convincing that no one ever asks, and so she never needs to lie.

And when Hermione shoots her chiding looks for flirting so openly with Colin Creevey, Ginny feel a rush of pride. If even Hermione the wise doesn't notice, then Ginny has fooled them all.

But others cannot act as well as Ginny can. Hermione sees the meaningful glances that pass between Harry and Malfoy during meals and Ginny notices them as well. And while Hermione knows that Harry's bed is empty at night, Ginny is the one who encounters them together in an empty Charms classroom. She can't help watching in fascinated misery before she creeps away to the comforting haven of her bed, her refuge, and allows herself to break down.

In her fifth year, Ginny shuts the drapes of her bed at night. Her dorm mates never hear her crying and they needn't see her at it either. She has convinced everyone and that is how it must stay.

In sixth year, when McGonagall announces that the noisy thing in the their dorm's closet is a boggart, Ginny flees from the room. But there are other boggarts in Hogwarts, and when she encounters one in a deserted corridor, she has some difficulty preforming the simple third-year spell and vanquishing the silhouettes of Harry and Draco together. She trembles violently and it takes more time than she would have liked to regain her posture.

In her seventh year, a painting of Harry is put up in the Gryffindor common room to honor his graduation. Ginny does her best to ignore it. But Harry, for once passive and watchful while locked in his portrait, seems to regard her with growing apprehension.

One night, upon returning from one of her aimless wanderings around Hogwarts, Ginny returns to a dark, empty common room and noiselessly steals up to his portrait.

"You know, don't you," she whispers, shoulders slumping defeatedly. "You can tell, even when he himself never could."

She leans against the painting and shuts her eyes. "Do you love him too? Do you wish that his portrait was besides yours, so that you could visit him? Even now, you don't want anyone but him, don't you?"

Tears slip down her cheeks and the Harry in the portrait comes to stand beside her head. "Ginny," he begins, and his voice is full of sadness and regret, for once full of meaning and she just... can't bear it.

She pulls back, stands straight and protectively wraps her arms around herself. "Ginny," he says, almost pleadingly this time. "Ginny, you won't always love me-"

"Can't you see," she whispers brokenly. "I don't know how not to love you."

Ginny slips up to her room, up to her refuge and pulls the curtains around her bed once more.
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From:sapphiretragedy
Date:December 6th, 2004 09:23 pm (UTC)
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Ginny feel a rush of pride
[Ginny feels a rush of pride]

If even Hermione the wise doesn't notice,

[If even, Hermione, the wise, doesn't notice,]


Hermione sees the meaningful glances that pass between Harry and Malfoy during meals and Ginny notices them as well.

[Ok, should be a semi-colin instead of comma. Hermione sees the meaningful glances that pass between Harry and Malfoy [I'd use Draco] during meals; Ginny notices them as well.]

Her dorm mates never hear her crying and they needn't see her at it either.

[I found this to be kind of awkward. One would hear someone cry before they would see it, most likely, so I would say something like: Her dorm mates never saw her crying; they didn't need to hear her either.]

She has convinced everyone and that is how it must stay.

[This would flow better if it were two sentences and add greater effect to what you are saying. She has convinced everyone. That is how it must stay.]

But there are other boggarts in Hogwarts, and when she encounters one in a deserted corridor, she has some difficulty preforming the simple third-year spell and vanquishing the silhouettes of Harry and Draco together.

[Run on sentence. But there are other boggarts in Hogwarts. When she encounted one in a deserted corridor, she had some trouble performing [too wordy] the simple spell needed to vanquish the silhuetts of Harry and Draco together.]

you don't want anyone but him, don't you?"

[word choice and double negative. The second 'don't' should be 'do']



Aside from those few things, this is beautifully done. You really let the reader into Ginny's heart and head with this piece. Good job!

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From:eternalmemory
Date:December 9th, 2004 10:06 pm (UTC)
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Thanks so much for your input! Am going to correct the fic right away. :-)
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From:sapphiretragedy
Date:December 9th, 2004 10:32 pm (UTC)
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No problem. Again, I think that this is beautifully written. Keep up the good work. I look forward to reading more of this. Also, if you aren't going to post to the beta community let me know where you are posting this so I can read it.
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